


An Undisclosed Amount of Time Later…

by AnotherMagicalSummer



Category: Superstore (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-02 19:29:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14551818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherMagicalSummer/pseuds/AnotherMagicalSummer
Summary: ...post season 3 finale. Fun Silly Sexy Times... followed by a PLOT TWIST, because why not.





	1. Chapter 1

**An Undisclosed Amount of Time Later… In The Photo Lab**

 

“Uh-”

“Yeah”

“Wow”

“Uh-huh.”

 

Amy suddenly realized how uncomfortable the photo lab work table was. But what was comfortable was laying this close to Jonah. She shifted slightly and he did too as they adjusted themselves to lay on the workspace more comfortably. Amy moved her fingers through Jonah’s hair at the back of his neck while he traced his finger along her arm. They didn’t speak for a long time. There was nothing but warmth between them, and they both didn’t want to think about the consequences of their actions and what conversations would need to come next… they just wanted to enjoy being close to the person they had wanted to be close to, for so long. 

 

**Meanwhile... At The Front Of The Store**

 

“Oh. My. God.” Sandra’s mouth fell open

 

“No, No, No, Let’s not bring the lord into this!” Glenn squealed while wringing his fingers.

 

“That was hot.” Cheyanne nodded approvingly, eyes wide.

 

“Where’s Kelly?” Piped up Carol.

 

“She left early,..” Mateo rolled his eyes disappointed.

 

“Oh.. Bummer..” Carol muttered.

 

“Wait, so the sex with Amy list is like, for sure, happening?” Marcus looked around excited.

 

“Oh yeah man, you’re next, better get back there for your turn.” Garrett deadpanned. 

 

Marcus was already starting to unbutton his shirt when Dina held out her hand to stop him. 

 

“Uh, you guys. How the fuck are we gonna handle this?” 

 

“Dina, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t swear...” Glenn’s worried face tried to look stern and failed.

 

“Glenn, this isn’t television, it’s fanfiction!” Dina responded annoyed.

 

“Wait, are they gonna get fired?” A realization dawning on Cheyanne’s face, “Because sex shouldn’t be illegal.”

 

“Why is there even a camera? Who put a camera in there? How did this even happen?!” Glenn was starting to lose it.  

 

Mateo and Cheyanne both shot a look over at Garrett, who tried to look around like he was just as confused as Glenn. 

 

“Gosh I don’t know, but obviously someone with superior tech skills…” Garrett couldn’t help himself.

 

“It was Garrett.” Dina answered flatly taking one look at him while Garrett threw his hands up in defeat. “But the camera isn’t the issue… The fact that two of our employees just did the nasty live on camera in front of literally all Cloud 9 stores-”

 

“There could be children in some of those stores!” Glenn gasped

 

“There could be teenagers with cell phones as well…” Mateo pointed out.

 

“Oooh my god, we’re gonna go viral!” Cheyanne squealed and clapped her hands. 

 

**And Now… Back To The Photo Lab**

 

“So…” Jonah finally broke the silence.

 

“Can we not face reality yet?” Amy answered to the ceiling. 

 

“I just want to say one… thing.” 

 

Amy sighed, “Okay..”

 

“I don’t care if you are pregnant with Adam’s baby-”

 

“Really?” Amy cut him off, “I don’t think we should have that conversation… yet. Or, whatever.” She rolled her eyes annoyed at Jonah’s over eagerness to be the ‘good guy.’ 

 

“I’m just saying!” Jonah sat up and look down at Amy’s face, “I like you… regardless.” 

 

Amy bit her lip, it was nice to hear him say that even though she didn’t want to admit it. “Okay fine,” She playfully rolled her eyes at him and started to sit up off the work table. “That’s.. Good to know.” She gave him a grin as she slid her feet back to the ground. 

 

“You’re pretty.” Jonah mused as he followed, swinging his legs to get off the table. 

 

“Shut up.” Amy countered, “You’re... too much.”

 

“I know, right?” Jonah responded coyly with a joking wink. 

 

They both laughed, “Oh shut up.” Amy said again, then she paused and looked around, “Where are my pants?”

 

**And We Return… To The Front of The Store**

 

“Oooh, who is gonna tell Amy and Jonah that they are famous?” Cheyanne squealed.

 

“Oh! Can it be me?” Sandra excitedly raised her hand

 

“No.” Dina and Glenn responded in unison, Sandra looked defeated. 

 

“I’ll go tell them,” Dina said with a very official tone. 

 

“Wait-” Glenn hesitated, then he slowly glanced at the tv screen he’d been too afraid to look at directly, “Oh okay, yeah, they have their pants on again. Okay..” He nodded approvingly.

 

Dina nodded and turn to leave.

 

“Wait!” Glenn stopped her again, “What, What, how.. This is a very delicate matter Dina...” Glenn looked unsure, “What are you going to say?”

 

“I’m gonna say, ‘You guys fucked on camera and everyone saw.’” Dina responded.

 

“Oh! And then say, ‘Congratulations!’” Cheyanne piped in excitedly. 

 

Glenn nodded approvingly at this, “Yeah, .. yeah try to make it cheerful, if you can.” 

 

**And Once Again.. In The Photo Lab**

 

“So, should we do this again sometime?” Jonah said casually like they were on a date. He was leaning on the worktable watching Amy finish putting her vest back on. 

 

“Um, how about NOT on the uncomfortable photo lab work table?” Amy countered.

 

“But..., that’s a yes?” Jonah raised his eyebrows and smiled at her.

 

“Shut up Jonah.” Amy turned to leave the room.

 

“You like me...” Jonah grinned playfully as he followed her with a bounce in his step.

Amy blushed and turned to face him coyly before opening the door, “mmhmm-” 

 

But then suddenly the door opened from the other side and Dina came into the room.

 

Jonah and Amy both jumped back in surprise. “Uh, Dina!  um.. We were just..” Amy stammered.

 

“We were...doing our taxes!” Jonah blurted out randomly. Amy shot him a look. 

 

“What, Jonah, tax season is over...” Amy whispered.

 

“We… were… we got an extension and are filing late!” Jonah countered loudly and looked at Dina pointedly while Amy shook her head. 

 

Dina held up her hands and sighed, “You were having sex.”

 

“What…?!” “No…!” Amy and Jonah responded with failed pretend shock. 

 

Dina pointed over to the corner where the flower displays from the town hall meeting were now set up, “There’s a camera, over there… it’s on.” She raised her eyebrows at both of them.

 

A look of horror slowly dawned on both Amy and Jonah’s faces. 

 

“Wait.. so.. People saw…?” Amy was both horrified and confused.

 

“Everyone saw.” Dina nodded and then she grinned, “Nice work.” She turned and winked at Jonah, “Nice butt.”

 

Jonah groaned and Amy gasped. 

 

“Shit.” 

 

“Wait, Amy, we can’t-”

 

“Nah, it’s fine,” Dina interrupted, “It’s fanfiction.” 

 


	2. PART 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we continue...

**And We Continue… Still In The Photo Lab**

 

“When you say… every...one?” Amy squinted at Dina.

 

“Yep, I mean EVERY. STORE. Live streamed.” Dina nodded again spreading her hand across an imaginary map, “INTERNATIONAL. Like I said, good work and solid performance. Unsure of how corporate will feel though.” She wrinkled her brow thoughtfully. 

 

“I’m gonna guess… not good.” Jonah answered with a bewildered shrug. 

 

“Oh this is bad.” Amy’s eyes were wide, “What do we.. what… WAIT. The email!” 

 

“OOOooooh” Jonah pointed his finger at the ceiling like a small town detective on his first case. Dina just looked at him like he was precious. 

 

“They can’t fire us, we know too much!” Amy announced.

 

“I’d say we ALL know too much at this point,” Dina looked at them both appraisingly.

 

“Oh...” Jonah shrank backwards with a frown at Dina. 

 

**And Now.. To The Front of The Store!**

 

After the initial shock of the sexy sex on screen, most employees lost interest pretty quickly and left, because they had their own sexy lives to lead. Just a few still meandered around the doors, like audience members after a play hoping to meet the actors. 

 

“Do you think Jonah will adopt Amy’s baby?” Cheyenne mused. 

 

“But what about Adam?” Mateo scrunched his face thoughtfully. 

 

“Oh! Maybe they’ll be a thrumple!” Cheyenne said excitedly.

 

“Ohhh, that’s hawt. Yeah.” Mateo nodded approvingly. 

 

“Yeah, that’s hot.” Sandra agreed suddenly out of nowhere. Both Cheyenne and Mateo turned to look at her in surprise disgust. 

 

“Okay, show’s over! Everyone out of the store!” Dina returned from the back.

 

“Where are they? How are they? Are they okay? Do they need counseling?” Glenn jumped up from where he’d been sitting on his phone over to the side.  

 

“Relax,” Dina held her hands up reasurredly, “They both have a beautiful post orgasmic glow to them-”

 

“Aww!” Cheyenne cooed while Mateo looked disgusted. 

 

“And they have been informed of the video incident.” Dina continued calmly,  “And... we’ll just have to see how corporate reacts-”

 

“Not good. They are NOT happy.” Glenn interjected, “I was on the phone with them while you were back there, they are not pleased.” His face was worried sick. 

 

“It would be weird if they WERE happy…” Garrett piped up dryly raising an eyebrow.

 

“Mhmm,” Dina nodded, “But! We know stuff that they don’t want us to know.” 

 

“Oh! Like how to french braid hair! Or how to do The Dougie!” Cheyenne interjected excitedly.

 

The rest of the employees looked confused.

 

“No,” Dina looked at Cheyenne briefly like she was genuinely worried, “No, the email? How corporate was looking to fire the older employees? The ageism? Remember the plan from like literally just earlier today?”

 

“Oooooh” They all nodded in unison. 

 

“That reminds me,” Mateo perked up thoughtfully, “I need to go get, like, really seriously angry at my boyfriend…”  

 

“So, as far as I can see it,” Dina shrugged casually as Mateo wandered off, “They can’t touch us. If they try to fire Amy and Jonah, we threaten to go public with what we know.”

 

“Ohh,.. that might actually work.” Glenn finally looked relieved for the first time since the start of this fan fiction. Poor Glenn.

 

**Meanwhile...In The Back Parking Lot**

 

Amy and Jonah walked out the back to avoid everyone else, they walked in silence to their cars.

 

“So….” Jonah started unsure of what to say. 

 

“Look, let’s just put all this,” Amy motioned to the space between them, “on hold for now… At least until we know about the future of our jobs.”

 

“Right. Okay.” Jonah tried to answer casually and not show any disappointment. 

 

“Good night Jonah.” 

 

“Good night Amy.”

 

**However… Later That Night...**

 

_ Jonah’s hands cupped her face as he kissed her like his life depended on it. His arms around her, his weight against her body, the smell of his sweat and the rhythm they found as he groaned  into her ear as he moved inside- _

 

Amy blinked and frustratingly turned over in bed. She had a problem. 

 

**Elsewhere… Also, Later That Night….**

 

_ Amy sighed, pulled herself closer against him and breathed “yes” in his ear while digging her nails into his back as he moved inside of her and felt her chest rise and fall rapidly as she wrapped her legs around him and as he- _

 

Jonah sighed and punched his pillow. He had a problem, and it wasn’t just that Garrett’s couch was uncomfortable. 

 

**The Next Morning.. Inside Everyone’s Inbox**

 

Subject: Regarding the events post the Cloud 9 Town Hall meeting at Store #1217

 

To all Store #1217 Cloud 9 employees,

We need to inform you all that we take the events post the Town Hall meeting very seriously. We do not condone or encourage sexual activity between employees on store property under any circumstances. The actions of two of your employees have brought shame to our entire company. However, given all the considerable information we have received on the matter, we will not be terminating anyone at this time. The two employees in question will be suspended immediately for two weeks without pay, after which they may return to their normal work schedules. Everyone else is expected to return to work as usual and to be on their best behavior as store #1217 is now under extra surveillance and scrutiny. 

 

Thank you and have a heavenly day,

 

Corporate Management. 

 

**Later That Morning... At Amy’s House.**

 

_ Jonah groaned as he moved inside of her and trembled as their breathing became rougher. She held onto him as their bodies moved and she threw her head back as he sucked on her neck. Their movements became more fervent as they both gasped loudly and-  _

 

Amy almost dropped her coffee cup when her doorbell suddenly chimed. 

 

“Shit” She mumbled. 

 

It was weird to not have a job to rush off to in the morning, so she’d been shuffling around all morning in sweatpants,... mostly daydreaming to be honest. I mean, she should of been worrying about money, bills and incoming babies, but she was a  _ little _ distracted. She shuffled to the door curious as to who it could be. 

 

“Jonah.” She hoped she wasn’t blushing. 

 

“Heeey-ya.” He gave a little wave awkwardly.

 

“What are you-”

 

“I thought,.. Since we’re not working.. At least temporarily, We could.. Maybe.. Start a club? Or.. Um. I know I should have texted first or.. Um..” Jonah stuttered, what he wanted to say was  _ Hey, I can’t stop thinking about you and all the sex so I just want to be around you ALL THE TIME if that’s cool.  _

 

“Oh, yeah. Sure. You wanna join the ‘wearing sweats and drinking coffee at 11 am club’ ?” Amy smirked and moved aside to let him in.

 

“Can I join if I’m wearing khakis?” Jonah responded jokingly.

 

“I don’t know, we have pretty strict rules about pants. The khakis might have to go-” Amy quickly stopped as she realized what she was saying and awkwardly shut the door and headed to the kitchen.

 

“Um,” Jonah blushed at his memories. 

 

_ Amy fervently reached down and undid his belt, while he felt the growing... urge to remove his pants. Quickly unzipping them and- _

 

“You want some coffee?” 

 

Jonah blinked and looked up in surprise as Amy poked her head out from the kitchen looking at him expectantly. 

 

“Uh, yeah sure. Thanks” He stammered, a little breathless.

 

_ Jonah’s heavy breathing moved through her as she felt her own body tremble around him as he- _

 

Amy blinked and sighed heavily as she tried to focus on pouring a cup of coffee. 

 

“Cream? Sugar?” She called out to the living room.

 

“Sure, yeah. Thanks.” Jonah answered. 

 

_ Amy whimpered and gasped as he moved himself quicker inside of her feeling the building of- _

 

“Here you go!” Amy cheerfully handed him his cup of coffee. 

 

“Greeeat,” He grinned.  

 

She slowly sat down on the couch as far from him as possible and smiled awkwardly. 

 

“So,.. any plans for the suspension?”

 

“Yeah can’t wait to catch up on all my embroidery.,.” Amy responded sarcastically. 

 

“Ha.” Jonah took a slow sip of his coffee. 

 

_ Jonah’s lips gently but quickly moved up her neck to her ear where he nibbled slightly causing sensations throughout her body and- _

 

Amy shook her head slightly and coughed. “What about you? Big plans?”

 

“Trying to be as not-annoying as possible for Garrett.” Jonah shrugged.

 

“Hmm,” Amy smiled at the couch with a chuckle. 

 

_ Amy’s groans of pleasure moved through his body and pushed him over the edge as he groaned and moved urgently inside her once more and then- _

 

“Ah, shit” Jonah spilled his coffee. 

 

“Oh, hey, I’ll get a napkin,” Amy returned to the kitchen in a rush. 

 

“I’m so sorry, it was just… uh,.. Hotter than I expected.”

 

Amy blushed at his words, but calmly returned and handed him a napkin as he wiped the spilled coffee from the couch. 

 

“It’s fine, spills happen… Adam has spilled stuff on this couch countless times…” Amy trailed off awkwardly, kicking herself for bringing up Adam. 

 

“Right, Adam. Yeah he’s got a lot of experience,.. With this couch…” Jonah responded awkwardly, standing up to go throw away the used napkin. 

 

“Yeah, but honestly the couch is better without him. He never really,..got the couch, you know?” Amy mused.

 

Jonah came back from the kitchen and eyed her, “Sometimes… it’s hard to find a couch that really gets you.” He responded slowly as he sat back down. 

 

“Mmhmm,” Amy nodded as her eyes shifted awkwardly around the room. 

 

They both sat there for a second nodding in silence avoiding eye contact. Jonah fidgeted with the sleeve of his shirt and Amy pushed her hair off her neck. Then their eyes slowly met. Amy bite her lip and Jonah cleared his throat.

 

A second later they were in each other’s arms. Limps wrapping around each other and clothing falling to the ground as they went vertical on the couch. And sometimes... You meet a couch that just really  _ really  _ gets you.  

 


	3. PART 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile... Kelly gets her revenge, people react, Amy and Jonah continue to be sexy... and shit hits the fan.

**Meanwhile… In a Dark Cave of Revenge…**

 

It was the middle of the day but Kelly had her blinds shut, giving the apartment an eerie twilight feeling. The apartment that was supposed to be  _ theirs _ and now it was just  _ hers _ . Hers. All Hers. 

 

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” She cackled out loud to no one. She had a oversized glass of rosé and the bottle next to her, she took a large gulp and tossed her hair out of her face. The Disney princess was now the vengeful villain. And she had a plan.

 

She sat in front of her laptop, the glow of the screen cast shadows across her face. She watched the video for the thousandth time, couldn’t help herself, couldn’t stop.  _ Cloud 9 Employees Get Busy in Photo Lab,  _ had gone viral overnight before Cloud 9 corporate officially removed the video early that morning. But not before Kelly had downloaded it herself to her own laptop. Why? Who knows why, she had lost her mind. How dare you judge her?!

 

And then she opened a new word document and started to write. And she wrote and wrote, muttering out loud to herself, “How dare he..” “Thinks he can just..” “Like I didn’t know…” “Well, how about this...” “Huh?!  _ Jonah _ ?!” “That’s right…” “I can do whatever I want...this is fanfiction…” “We all know who the real hero of the story is…” “Team  _ freaking _ Kelly!” 

 

She then cackled out loud again, like an actual scary witch in a fairy tale, because that was just the emotional place she was in. 

 

She placed her finger on the key to post her story, “Go Team.” She muttered darkly and then finished off her rosé, straight from the bottle.

 

**Basically Just Three Minutes Later… Inside Cloud 9 Store #1217**

 

“Oh my god, did you see what Kelly posted?!” Cheyenne leaned over conspiratorially on the makeup counter to show her phone to Mateo. 

 

“Please, Cheyenne… I’m going through a phase of extreme sadness and betrayal because of Jeff I don’t have time-”

 

“No, you NEED to see this…” Cheyenne insisted. 

 

_ He Lied About Everything. Cloud 9 Employee is Not Who He Says He Is.  _

 

“That’s a terrible photo of Jonah,” Mateo scrunched his face at the blog post that was quickly going viral. The internet still hot and heavy over the leaked sex video and eager to know more about the participates. 

 

“Yeah, no it’s  _ fugly _ , but who cares... READ what she wrote!” Cheyenne insisted again.

 

“Mmhmm… mmhmm-What?!” Mateo grabbed Cheyenne’s phone after reading the first few lines, “NOOO…” He gasped and grabbed his chest overdramatically. 

 

Or, was it just the right about of dramatic? 

 

**No Less Than Four Minutes After That...**

 

The majority of Cloud 9 employees had gathered around a laptop in the tech department of the store with eyes the size of saucers. 

 

“I knew it.. I knew…” Dina was nodding her head.

 

“You did?!” Sandra looked at her impressed while Mateo just frowned. 

 

“Well, No. Not directly… At all actually. But I mean.. Come on..” Dina shrugged and kept nodding. 

 

“I can’t believe it.. This whole time…” Marcus shook his head in disbelief.

 

“You guys, this is really exciting!” Justine bounced on her toes.

 

“How do we know she’s even telling the truth though?” Garrett was skeptical.

 

“The true facts are all plainly there, Garrett!” Cheyenne nodded towards the screen.

 

“It’s all pretty solid. It checks out.” Dina nodded in agreement.

 

“You guys, it’s like… anything is possible… you think the easter bunny is real too?” Marcus whispered and looked around in his continued disbelief. 

 

Everyone just shrugged, genuinely unsure. 

 

**Meanwhile... Blissfully Unaware At Amy’s House, On A Couch With A Coffee Stain...**

 

“Are you sure about this?” Jonah hovered over Amy, breathing heavily. “You said you wanted to put this on hold-”

 

“Fuck that.” Amy rolled her eyes and pulled him towards her again. 

 

She rolled over so she was on top straddling him, Jonah grinned at her assertiveness. She moved slowly and seductively on top of him as she kissed his neck and moved a hand between his legs. Jonah moaned and pulled her face towards him to kiss passionately. Their movements were less frantic and feverish than the day before, now with real privacy and time they revelled in each other’s touch and the reactions of their bodies. 

 

But soon their pace quicken as they found that rhythm from the day before, not bothering to keep their voices down they allowed themselves to fully vocalize the experience. 

 

“Oh god, yes,” Amy panted, enjoying being on top.

 

“Ah, uh huh..” Jonah agreed between breaths. “You’re amazing.” 

 

“You’re so fucking hot,” Amy whispered feeling herself getting close and she leaned in closer to him.

 

“God, you are sexy,” Jonah groaned pulling slightly at her hair as he moved it to see her face better, sweat dripping from both of them. 

 

“Haa,..” Amy grinned between gasps, “I know, you’ve told me...” 

 

“I meant it.” Jonah was wincing from pleasure but also the awkward memory. “Ah, Amy… Yes…” He was almost there. 

 

“Mhmn-” Amy bit her lip as she shuddered and then gasped loudly, “Oh… fuckyes.”

 

Jonah pulled her as close to himself as possible, feeling her body contract and tremble, he groaned loudly as his own shudders followed. 

 

And then the room was still except for the sound of them trying to catch their breaths. 

 

“Fuck that was good.”

 

Ah,..fan fiction,...amiright?

 

**Several Hours Later.. Still At The Sexy House of Sosa.**

 

Amy and Jonah were eating a pizza.

 

“God, pizza is so good. Like, the best invention….maybe EVER?” Amy gushed as she finished her slice.

 

Jonah laughed, “Uh, I mean, some might argue that the iphone is actually the best invention-”

 

“No way, Jonah... No way,” Amy waved her hands at his nonsense, “Come on, has your PHONE ever given you the satisfaction that a good slice of pizza can?!” 

 

“I mean, that’s a solid argument,” Jonah chuckled and raised his eyebrows at her, “But, now hear me out, but-”

 

The front door suddenly slammed, “I hate you! I hate you! You’ve ruined my life! My life is over. OVER FOREVER!”

 

Amy raised her eyebrows and smiled, “My loving and sweet daughter has returned from school.”

 

“You ruined her life?” Jonah furrowed his brow.

 

“She’s a teenager, I ruin her life everyday.” Amy shrugged.

 

“EW, Mom! He’s  _ here _ ! In OUR house?! Disgusting. How can you even-I hate both of you! My life is ruined!”

 

Emma stormed through the kitchen past them and headed towards the staircase.

 

“She must of seen the video before corporate took it down…” Amy sighed.

 

“Excuse me?! No. Have you NOT been on the internet? Omigawd-Mom. I can’t even. He’s here in our  _ freaking _ house, I can’t even… It’s ALL over the internet…I CANNOT EVEN….” Emma spun back around and did a reunion tour of the kitchen, ranting and raving, before heading upstairs for real. They heard her stomps all the way to her bedroom. 

 

“She’s really a delight.” Jonah nodded with a straight face. 

 

“Tell me about-wait… All over the internet? I thought corporate was all over that? The video shouldn’t still be online..?” Amy frowned in confusion. 

 

“Earth to morons! I’m not talking about the stupid video!” Emma’s voice yelled through the ceiling. 

 

“Hm, have I mentioned the thin walls we have here?” Amy rolled her eyes as she searched for her phone. “I haven’t even looked at my phone in hours…” She mused out loud.

 

“Well, to be fair, we’ve been a little… busy..” Jonah laughed as he also looked for his phone. 

 

“That’s riiight….” Amy sing-songed as she did a raise the roof motion with her hands before picking up her phone from under the couch. 

 

“You are such a dork,” Jonah chuckled as he fished his phone out from behind a chair. 

 

“A se-xy dooork…” Amy replied in the same sing songy voice, but then she stopped suddenly as she finally looked at her phone. “Shit.”

 

“...what?” Jonah’s face fell as he looked at her. Something was wrong. His phone’s screen was dark, his battery must of died. He slipped it into his pocket and looked back at Amy. She was holding her phone and her eyes moved in disbelief. She was reading something. “Amy,.. What..”  He took a step towards her. But she jerked her hand up in a stop motion. He froze. “What.. What.. is it?” Jonah’s voice was small now and he could feel a coldness move through him. He watched as Amy’s eyes went from disbelief to cold and dark, her mouth settled into a hard line on her face.

 

“Get out.” She finally said. 

 

“I don’t understand-” Jonah looked bewildered.

 

“Get the FUCK out of my house.” 


	4. Hell Hath No Fury

**He Lied About Everything. Cloud 9 Employee is Not Who He Says He Is.**

_By Kelly Watson_

You might know his pasty ass from the sex video that went viral overnight. Or you might know his pretty boy face as a helpful Cloud 9 employee in St. Louis, Missouri. But the truth is, no one knows Jonah Simms at all, because that’s not even his real name.  

 

I first met 'Jonah' in the fall of last year. I quickly fell for his charming wit and charismatic grin. I should of known better, the best liars are always charismatic and charming. Also, this is true about assholes. We started dating and he told me I was beautiful, sweet, and that no one had cared for him like me. I believed every word. I naively gave him my heart. But he never gave me his.

 

And how could he, when he never had a heart to give?

 

Because the charming man that everyone thinks is Jonah Simms is actually a heartless one named Joseph “Joey” Spurman. Younger brother to Todd Spurman, Cloud 9 Corporate Office Senior Vice President. While ‘Jonah’ claims to have dropped out of business school after a panic attack and then decided, on a fantastical wee little whim, to work at a Cloud 9 store- this is a total fabrication. Joey Spurman is actually a human rights lawyer from Chicago working at Cloud 9 undercover to relay employee experience information back to his brother and other corporate employees. A man on the inside, if you will. But that is not all.

 

Joey Spurman is also a married man, who has taken the opportunity as ‘Jonah Simms’ to woo and charm many women into bed. Several of them low level Cloud 9 employees, including myself and most recently and notoriously, Amy Sosa. After, may I add, only ending our relationship barely 24 hours before. Which, may I add, included living together in an apartment we had just signed the lease for. And, may I also add, he only decided to end our relationship upon realizing he now had the opportunity to get with Ms. Sosa. Completely taking advantage of the situation to his own benefit.

 

You might wonder, how could I have shared a life and a bed with this man and never know the truth about him? Well, love makes you crazy. You gloss over and ignore the signs. But trust me, once I saw them, I realized I’d been duped. Then as the world watched my ex-boyfriend plow some other woman all over the internet, I started digging. I went to the dark web and I found my sources. Marriage certifications, law degrees and family photographs. All of which I’m attaching to this article so that the world will know. This man is a liar. A manipulative charming liar. But I am determined to end his reign and have my heart be the last one broken.

 

_Kelly Watson lives in St. Louis, Missouri. She is a sales associate at Cloud 9. Kelly enjoys making instagram videos, being friendly to random animals on the street and singing country western music at karaoke. She is currently single._

 


	5. PART 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It took a turn, i know. 
> 
> You are probably like: "WTF fan fiction writer, What. The. Fuck?! We were having fun sexy silly times and then you decide to just go nuts with the plot line!" ... i get it. I know I'm sorry. If this fucks too much with your concept of Jonah, that's cool, you can just stop reading. BUT, if you are like.. "Whoa.. bring on the fun crazy plot twists...!" Then I say... welcome my friend, pull up a chair, and... let's find out who the fuck Jonah Simms really is...

**Later,...Back At The Store of Sex and Lies…**

 

“So,.. is Kelly fired?” Cheyenne mused while fixing her hair in the mirror next to a men’s shirts display. 

 

“I mean,.. She outed Cloud 9’s secret undercover employee… I’m not sure what she thought was gonna happen.” Mateo frowned.

 

“I don’t mean to be judgy,” Cheyenne turned to Mateo in a whisper, “But like, she’s kinda like...not smart, right?” 

 

“Totally,” Mateo whispered back nodding in agreement, “But at the  _ same time _ , she’s kind of like an evil genius, or something?”

 

“Oh totally!” Cheyenne nodded with wide excited eyes, “Like, a real housewife!”

 

“Yes!” Mateo pointed at her. “Exactly.” 

 

**Meanwhile,...In Glenn’s Office of Top Secret Affairs**

 

“I can’t believe this. I can not believe it!” Glenn was pacing while Dina watched from a seated position next to his desk. “I didn’t know. I didn’t even know. Why wouldn’t they have told me?! Why would corporate do that? A SECRET undercover employee? TO SPY ON US?! Why.. Why… Why.. OUR Store…? What-- Did YOU know?” He suddenly turned to Dina.

 

“Ye-uh,.. No. I definitely did NOT know.” Dina shamefully acknowledged. 

 

“What information was he even gathering?! I trusted Jonah. I.. I mean,..  _ Joey _ or whatever that lying rat’s name is… I treated him like a son… Ugh,.. I’m sorry that I’m getting so worked up, but this has just all been a very trying 72 hours. I mean the CEO comes to our store, he farts--I’m just saying--He farted. Then two of our employees have sex  _ live  _ on camera for all to see… then I stand up to corporate to prevent them from being fired ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT ONE OF THEM IS A SPY!” Glenn stopped pacing, threw up his hands and turned to face Dina. 

 

“Yeeep,” Dina nodded wide eyed still processing it herself, “That.. That covers it.” 

 

Glenn sighed heavily and landed back down in his chair. “I mean… this fan fiction really took a  _ turn _ , didn’t it!? ” He slouched backwards. 

 

“It certainly, certainly did.” Dina nodded, “But, um, what did corporate say,... about it all?” She asked curious but keeping her tone professional.

 

“Oooh…” Glenn responded grumpily and sarcastically, “They sent a very vague email about respecting the privacy of employees. And how ‘ _ Joe _ ’ as they call him, was gathering only general information to help corporate better and fully understand the employee experience and that no personal boundaries were crossed. But I beg to differ! I let my daughter date him! A married man! A lying married man!” 

 

“Hmm, it does  _ look _ bad.” Dina nodded in agreement, “But has anyone spoken to Jonah directly?”

 

“I would rather spit on my great-grandmother’s grave!” Glenn declared outraged. 

 

“So, that’s a no.” 

 

**And,..Now We’re Back Out in The Store of Sex and Lies**

 

“Well this explains why he always wanted to know how I was doing,” Garrett frowned, “I just thought he was annoyingly thoughtful.”

 

“But.. he lead us against corporate several times?” Sandra said aghast. 

 

“He told me he use to ‘act in plays’” Mateo tossed his hand dismissively, “Must have been part of his ‘character’” 

 

“But if he was working for corporate… why go against corporate…? UNLESS” Marcus’s eyes got wide, “He was a double agent! You guys!”

 

“Whoa…” Cheyenne gasped  “This is like a TV show!”

 

“Doubtful,” Mateo scoffed, “I mean sure he lead us against corporate at times, but did it ever get us anywhere?”

 

“Glenn still has his job,” Sandra shrugged.

 

There was general half-hearted nodding, agreements and confusion throughout the group of employees.

 

“I think,” Mateo held his hands up conspiratorially, “that he was only sent here to keep us reigned in. Keep us satisfied by making us  _ think _ we could stand up to corporate if needed, but at the same time, keep us in our places.” 

 

“Whoa,... Yeah.” Cheyenne nodded. 

 

“Yeah, man,.. I mean, that sounds like a corporate thing to do.” Garrett shrugged defeatedly.

 

“Aw Garrett, you like, lost a friend...” Cheyenne cooed.

 

“Nah, shut up, no I didn’t. Whatever. You lost a friend. I don’t care.” He shot back, and then turned to roll away. 

 

**Meanwhile… At the House of Broken Hearts**

 

Amy’s phone buzzed again, the screen said Jonah and she continued to ignore it. 17 unanswered calls so far. She groaned and hid her face behind her eyes, like somehow that made everything go away.

 

She hadn’t left the kitchen table all day. She thought about sitting on the couch but it was tainted. But there was also still a half eaten pizza on the kitchen table, so that was tainted too. The whole house as tainted. The last three years of her life… tainted.  

 

After more ranting and raving about lives being ruined forever, Emma had left for Adam’s that morning. Adam was actually being reasonably kind and understanding. Told her he’d take Emma and give her space for as long as she needed. It made Amy realize that this was the best part about being divorced parents, time and space and seperate houses for everyone when needed. 

 

And now she was sitting here with her untouched cold cup of tea, replaying every conversation she’d ever had with Jonah. Looking and searching for signs. Signs that none of it had been real, yet it all felt so real. 

 

It wasn’t even just the whole corporate spy thing that bothered her so much. But,.. He was married? He was just some creep cheating multiple times on his wife? And he got mad at  _ her _ for kissing  _ him _ ? What the fuck? She’d open up to him so many times and he… was just a stranger. A stranger who just wanted to know what her employee work experience was like.

 

“Fuck.” 

 

She hung her head backwards and sighed. If only she could go back to work to distract herself. 

 

Of course, she knew it was worse at work. They all knew about it and were talking about it, she was getting like 20 texts a day about it. Mostly prodding and asking if she’d spoken to Jonah at all. She couldn’t bring herself to respond to any of them except Dina, but only to say she needed space and she couldn’t even  _ imagine _ a conversation with Jonah, o _ r whoever _ , right now. You put her unplanned pregnancy and accidental public sexual behavior on top of it all, and honestly, she didn’t know if she’d ever want to go back. 

 

Maybe it was time to leave Cloud 9. 

 

Amy blinked at the thought and sighed. Who was she kidding.

 

**Several Days Later, As The World Returns To Normal**

 

Amy got an email from corporate. 

 

They were asking her to meet with Laurie at a nearby hotel for a meeting. Seemed odd at first, but then Amy shrugged, where else would they meet - she was temporarily suspended from the store. So Amy made an attempt to shower, comb her hair, and put on a nice shirt. This would be her first time leaving the house in a few days. She stood and looked at herself in the mirror.

 

She looked tired. She attempted a pleasant smile and was immediately disappointed. She tried to prepare herself for what the meeting was about. Maybe about her suspension? Or her asking for a raise? Or her relationship with-  _ who ever _ . She rolled her eyes. She hoped it was just about her suspension and her return to work. She wanted to just put everything else behind her and return to work. She closed her eyes and sighed.

 

_ Jonah’s hands passionately running through her hair, his mouth against hers while she pulled his body as close as humanly possible and every nerve in her body felt alive- _

 

She shook her head annoyed. There were somethings she was having trouble putting behind her. 

 

**And… We Arrive at A Swanky Hotel**

 

Amy nervously walked into the hotel, it was fancier than she expected, she adjusted and re-adjusted her shirt. She hoped this would be quick and simple. 

 

“I’m here to meet Laurie Neustadt?” Amy asked the front desk.

 

“Uh-huh,” The front desk receptionist nodded at her, “Are you Amy Sosa?” They asked.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Room 322, Take the elevator and turned right on the third floor.”

 

“Thanks” Amy headed off to the elevator mentally trying to psych herself up with a professional smile. 

 

Before she knew it she was knocking on room 322. There was a loud awkward shuffling about on the other side of the door that caused Amy to frown in confusion. And when the door suddenly opened, she nearly tripped back in surprise. 

 

It was Jonah. 

 


	6. PART 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a difficult conversation... that's also a little sexually charged, ... just a little...

**And We Continue...At The Swanky Hotel For Spies Who Break Hearts**

 

“Uh, No. No thank you.” Amy held up her hands in front of her as the shock and confusion of seeing him washed over her, she started to turn to walk away.

 

“Wait-wait-wait, please…” Jonah folded his hands desperately in front of himself, “I.. I just want a chance to explain.. I mean, ...all of this is confusing I know, but  _ you don’t know everything _ … please?”

 

Amy paused and looked at him. He certainly looked like the familiar Jonah that she had come to know. Dark, annoyingly perfect hair. Sensitive eyes. His lips...Um.  _ Focus Sosa _ . But she also noted that instead of his usual khakis and plaid button down, he was wearing a nice suit, sans suit jacket, with the sleeves neatly rolled. He looked…corporate. 

 

“Is.. this…” Amy motioned at him, “Is this... your  _ true self _ ?” She stuttered out both sarcastically and bewildered. 

 

“I, uh,” Jonah looked sheepishly at his outfit, “I had a meeting earlier…” He looked awkwardly around, “And I know you don’t think so, but you already know my ‘true self’” His hands fluttered up to make quotation marks and he sighed, “ ... will you please come in?” He motioned inwards to the room.

 

Amy wanted to just angrily storm away, she thought of Emma stomping through the house having a temper tantrum, she’d love to do that right about now. But instead she sighed and looked at Jonah, his eyes were sad and there was an edge of desperate to them, so she gave in. “Sure,” And she followed him into the room.

 

It was a nice room, more of a suite actually. They were in a sitting room area with a doorway to the left that led to a bedroom. Jonah nervously walked over to the couch and shuffled some folders full of paper out of the way. He motioned for her to sit down. But Amy just stood there staring around at the hotel room. Recognizable elements of Jonah were around, like his coat, backpack and phone, but also elements of a stranger, like fancy shoes and a rolex sitting on the table. 

 

“Please sit down,” Jonah said nervously from the couch. 

 

But Amy just stood and stared back at him, “Who the hell are you?” She tried to keep her voice steady. 

 

“I’m… I’m me.” He insisted placing his hands on his chest, “It’s still me. I’m.. I swear, I’m the person that you know.”

 

“The person that I know!?” Amy responded incredulously, “You mean the guy that was homeless and living in his car?!” She motioned around at the swanky hotel room like it might as well have been on fire. 

 

“Huh,..well,” Jonah chuckled awkwardly, “That’s..well, to play the part.. Um..”

 

“Oh god,  _ exactly _ ! You were playing a part!” Amy let loose her pent up anger from the last several days, “You are a god-damn stranger, named…  _ Joey _ ?! I mean really?  _ Joey _ ?! What grown man goes by.. UGH,  _ nevermind _ .. You are a complete stranger, I don’t know you, don’t act like I  _ know _ you!” 

 

“No!  _ You know me! ... _ Maybe even better than anyone has!” Jonah stood up suddenly angry and pleading. “The rest of this is just details, my...myself, my soul, is the same. And… you. You... _ know _ that part of me.” 

 

“What, like your wife? Like how your  _ wife _ knows you?” Amy spit out.

 

“Estranged!” Jonah corrected pittifully, “She’s.. We‘ve been… She lives with another man for god sakes, she just won’t... The paper work isn’t…” Jonah stopped and sighed. “I really wanted to tell you the truth.” 

 

“Why didn’t you!?” Amy cried bewildered, “Or Kelly for that matter?! Jesus Jonah!- or, uh- _ Whoever you are _ …” She ended bitterly. 

 

“Yes, so, yes,..” Jonah started nodding his head very quickly, “Kelly was a mistake. Not, I mean, not an entire mistake...for the record, I meant everything I said to her  _ in the moment.  _ But I let that whole situation get out of hand, I had feelings for you and I let myself stay with her for the wrong reasons and she certainly ended up being far more clever and diabolical than I ever would have given her credit for…” 

 

“Yeah I was actually kind of impressed…” Amy couldn’t help but acknowledge.

 

“I know, right?” Jonah scrunched his face thoughtfully for a second. But then he returned to talking, “But you. You I wanted to tell. I talked to my brother and asked actually, multiple times. The answer was always no. I wasn’t even supposed to stay here this long, it was supposed to be six months at the least, one year at the most. But... I met you and I just couldn’t. I kept insisting on staying. I wasn’t lying when I said I waited for you. I was told I could stay as long as I kept up the appearance, so I agreed. To stay near you. I couldn’t leave.”

 

Jonah’s shoulders sagged and he looked at her with a longing and desperation that made her skin prickle. She couldn’t help the memories that still burned through her mind and body. The touch of him. The smell of him. She shook her head. 

 

“This is literally insane.” Was all Amy could think to say, “Like, literally the most insane.” 

 

“I..” Jonah couldn’t help but chuckle darkly, “I,  _ believe me _ ,...I KNOW. I mean, this has been my life. I.. honestly… I had reached the point where I was more than happy to stay Jonah Simms forever. Corporate wasn’t even communicating with me that much anymore.”

 

“But..” Amy shook her head still so confused, “But why even do it in the first place?”

 

“Um..” Jonah sighed and sunk back down on the couch. “Well, my marriage was over and… I didn’t lie about the panic attacks, I just, I was burnt out on being a lawyer. I became a human rights lawyer to help people, but the world is so full of.. I just felt like I couldn’t do enough…I was overwhelmed, I needed a break. Then my brother suggested I help out Cloud 9 on this.. ‘Human Resources Project’ they called it. They wanted to send out a few different subjects to work at stores and give feedback on the experience. I thought sure, get out of town, breath new air, help out the common man-”

 

“By spying on us?!” Amy interrupted. 

 

“No, no, no. It wasn’t spying. I swear, it wasn’t like that. I…” Jonah paused and chewed on his lip, which Amy tried to ignore how sexy that looked, “I was just supposed to behave like a normal employee, like basically just be myself, but then I’d check in with corporate every week and give detailed feedback on my experiences and life. The point was to help corporate have a better connection and understanding to their workers, although I don’t know just how successful...” He trailed off and shook his head, But it wasn’t spying... It was more like.. You know,  Jane Goodall… having the experience of -”

 

“We are chimps?!” Amy interrupted again, more outraged.

 

“No! Oh god no, I mean, I’m  _ also _ a chimp in this clearly really bad metaphor…” he trailed off again and sighed. He felt like he was losing her. He could almost feel her slipping through his fingers. He looked up at her standing there in the middle of the room. Her brow furrowed, her eyes full of anger, confusion, sadness and maybe… maybe it was his desperate hope, but maybe a bit of longing. 

 

After a pause, Amy sighed, “How could you let them fire Myrtle?” 

 

“Oh I’m sorry, do you think I actually have any power?” Jonah shrugged sarcastically bewildered, “Corporate might have sent me here, but please make no mistake, I still very much worked  _ for _ them. I’m not a part of corporate at all. In fact, I don’t work for them at all anymore. Hence, the suit,” Jonah motioned at himself, “I was interviewing at a law firm today.”

 

“Oh” Amy let that sink in and finally took a seat across from the couch where Jonah was sitting, he smiled slightly at this. Amy swallowed, “So,.. you are leaving?” 

 

“Um, well, it’s not really an option for me at this point to stay on as a Cloud 9 employee…” Jonah squinted and tried not to sound too sarcastic.

 

“I mean, you are leaving… here. Going back to Chicago?” Amy’s voice was small. Why did she care? She should be like, good riddance you slime! But.. it was… it was  _ Jonah _ . Kind of. 

 

“Oh” He looked surprised, “No, no I’m definitely staying here. The law firm was local, in St. Louis.” 

 

“Oh!” Amy internally kicked herself for how thrilled her reaction sounded while Jonah blushed and smiled at her. 

 

“I don’t think,...I could ever leave…” He stumbled over his words quietly, still blushing. 

 

Amy watched him lick his lips awkwardly, then diverted her eyes to the floor, “Hmm.”

 

“Especially after... Recent events…” He smiled wryly. 

 

Jonah watched Amy blush while keeping her eyes on the ground. He just wanted her to look at him. To forgive him. To let him hold her again. To kiss her. What would it take… He felt lost. 

 

“And..” He continued hopefully, “This new job it pays well and has great insurance, it could be helpful with-”

 

“I’m not ready for this conversation.” Amy quickly and tightly cut him off. 

 

Jonah nodded and bit his lip, his eyes wide and staring at the floor. 

 

They sat in silence for a bit. 

 

“How about a fresh start?” Jonah finally suggested hopefully.

 

Amy just looked at him hopelessly.

 

“Here,” Jonah shifted himself closer to her and held out his hand, “Hello. I’m Joseph Spurman, I’m a lawyer from Chicago. I like NPR, the New Yorker and bluegrass music. You can call me Joey, or Joe, or even Jonah, honestly, whatever you want. I just want to get to know you.” His eyes gently pleaded and he gave her a hopeful sincere smile.

 

Amy sighed and looked at him. 

 

A flash of memory of their bodies intertwined caused heat to move momentarily throughout her body. But she tried to shake it all away as a sad sense of defeat hit her.

 

“We never made sense to begin with. But this…” She motioned at him and the whole room and he saw tears form in her eyes, “This, ...makes  _ even less sense _ …. I,.. I can’t do this.”

 

His face and outstretched hand fell as Amy stood up and headed towards the door.

 

Jonah felt himself stand up in a panic, like a ragdoll trying to gain control of his limbs he moved with shaky urgency after her. 

 

Amy was right at the door when she felt Jonah’s hand forcefully grab her arm. She turned to look at him alarmed and Jonah immediately let go realizing how aggressive the action had come across. But now they stood so close to each other, a heavy energy hung in the air as they both breathed a little heavier. An unknowing feeling drifted between them, a sense of anticipation. Jonah couldn’t help it as his body leaned forward, like her body as a magnet. His lips reached hers and she immediately stepped back from him.

 

Jonah blinked and opened his mouth to apologize but felt his breath leave him as he saw the look in Amy’s eyes. A fire. Was it anger or was it passion? It lite him up and burned him all over, his.. ahem,.. nerves stood at attention. And suddenly she was against him, her mouth on his forcing his back to the closed door. She tore at him and he let her. And soon everything was a blur except for their bodies, which was all either of them wanted to focus on anymore. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
